This is my pitch for DfE behaviour funding. After discussing with the issue @HeyMissSmith and @greg_ashman I have designed a fundamental behaviour program to support teachers in getting it right in their class. On looking further at the techniques I realised very quickly this was not for beginners. This approach is for master crraftsmen only…
These techniques are not for the faint-hearted or the weak-willed. They require a steely determination, an unwavering focus and the ability to go where others fear to tread. This is why I am classing this as a master’s level program. This is not for beginners, this is definitely not for the faint-hearted. This five step program if mastered will change your classroom and you.
1 THE STARE(TM)/THE SILENCE(TM)
Imagine the scene… a child is chatting at the back of the class, or catching Pokemon on their mobile- phone, or even worse gazing out the window at the majestic herds of wildebeast as they roam across the plains. The first step is THE STARE (TM). Focus your gaze on the individual in question, they do not even have to be looking at you. This must be accompanied by absolute THE SILENCE (TM), if you were in the middle of an explanation stop immediately. Maintain THE STARE (TM), do not take your eyes off the individual. Other eyes in the class will follow the direction of your gaze, quadrupling the power of THE STARE (TM). The increasing atmospheric pressure in the room will ultimately step into the consciousness of the individual in question. You must without fail maintain THE STARE (TM) until the individual in question becomes aware of THE STARE (TM) and makes eye-contact at that point move onto Step 2
2 THE ARM-FOLD(TM)
Once eye contact is made it is time for THE ARM-FOLD (TM). Without relinquishing THE STARE (TM) slowly, actually incredibly slowly (A bit like you’re in slow motion) move your arms into THE ARM-FOLD (TM) position as seen in the diagram above. You must them maintain this position for exactly 23 seconds longer than feels natural or comfortable. You are now ready for Step 3.
3 THE CLOCK LOOK(TM)
This is a quick move and requires precise timing to get it right. You will need either a watch or a clock in the class or on your person. if it’s a clock ideally it will be out of the eye line of THE STARE (TM). briefly do THE CLOCK LOOK (TM)* directing your gaze to your watch breaking THE STARE (TM) and THE ARM-FOLD (TM). Once you’ve carried out THE CLOCK LOOK (TM) then instantly return to THE STARE (TM) whilst repeating THE ARM-FOLD (TM). An optional ‘tut’ maybe added at this point. You are now ready for Step 4
*the purpose of THE CLOCK LOOK (TM) is to imply ‘you’ve wasted my time, now I’m going to waste yours.’
4 THE WHISPER(TM)
You are now ready for THE WHISPER (TM). Once you are assured that you have the pupil’s attention through use of the techniques above you must then employ THE WHISPER (TM). This is an almost inaudible voice (it only works if you have successfully deployed Steps 1-3) you must then directly use THE WHISPER (TM) against the miscreant. What you whisper is key please go straight to Step 5.
5 THE DISAPPOINTMENT(TM)
Whilst maintaining THE STARE (TM) using THE WHISPER (TM) you must then say my specially designed behaviour management sentence “I am not upset…Im just disappointed.” This is THE DISAPPOINTMENT (TM). Please do not play around with this sentence, it has been rigorously researched adapting the sentence invalidates the training warranty.
You should now be fully in control of your class…
I am available for staff training, weddings and major festivals.